Oscar Recap: Because It’s the Only Good Thing That Happens in February

25 Feb

Once again, we almost forgot about the blog, but then two not-so-momentous things brought us back into the blogosphere. First, we got an email alerting us that our domain would expire 90 days from now. Second, the Oscars, aka the best mother effing night of the year, happened. So it only made sense that we draft a blog post filled with our unfiltered, raw musings re: the Oscars:

First and foremost, men should wear suits all the time. Black tie, bowtie, black shirt, white shirt, velvet blazer (Samuel L. Jackson, I’m looking at you)—anything of the suit variety will do.

Seth MacFarlane is so cute and funny and funny and cute and be my boyfriend already, will ya? We’re willing to condone his semi-racist and sexist jokes because he has the (deep) voice of an angel.

We were a little confused about the musical theme, but we’re not complaining because we’re firmly of the conviction that musicals make the world a happier place. Jennifer Hudson killed it but we couldn’t help but notice that Catherine Zeta-Jones isn’t as limber as she was once. We can’t decide which made us pee our pants more—Joseph-Gordon Levitt and Harry Potter’s dance number, or the cast of Les Miserables singing One Day More.

A win for Argo is a win for everyone if Ben Affleck and George Clooney are on the stage at the same time. Too much man candy, mmhhmm. Argo’s win really captured the ups and downs of Ben and Jen’s relationship: our hearts initially melted when they kissed, but we felt some second-hand embarrassment when he thanked her by announcing that even though marriage is work, he wouldn’t want to be working with anyone else. Uh. All was redeemed though when he ended his speech with a shout-out to Violet, Seraphina, and Sam. Cannot wait for the latest installment of paparazzi pics of him taking those munchkins to school.

Ben_Affleck_and_George_Clooney

Ang Lee is the cutest lil’ guy ever. You know how married couples begin to look alike as they age? See Ang Lee and his wife.

We were semi-disturbed by Michelle Obama’s presentation of Best Picture. Not only did it remind us of Big Brother (like 1984 Big Brother, not the reality show), but the last thing we needed to see at the Oscars was another woman with great arms wearing a sequined dress.

Silver Fox of the Hour award goes to Richard Gere. After careful consideration, we’ve concluded that the term Silver Fox must’ve been coined in honor of Richard Gere. Wow. He does great things for older men with wire-rimmed glasses.

Topics Open for Debate:
- non-Oscar related, but do you PROFESS or CONFESS your love to someone? Get back to us ASAP, we have feelings that are waiting to be expressed. Just kidding, we don’t, but we’re looking for some shits n’ giggles up here in Central New York, and nothing is more fun than making guys feel uncomfortable.

Topics Closed to Debate:
- George Clooney’s sexuality.
- Anne Hathaway’s general suckiness. Two (of many) reasons why we don’t like her: She says things like, “dreams really do come true!” And her husband looks like a less attractive version of Ryan Gosling. YGG, not!

Elaheh went to bed last night lamenting that she wasn’t at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, but Alyssa was quick to point out that she wouldn’t have known anyone had she been there. All FOMO-related feelings subsided immediately after following Vanity Fair on Instagram.

ONE MORE THOUGHT: This one is offensive, but…it’s National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (nedaw!) at Hamilton, AND there’s a stomach virus going around–which could lead to an amazingly ironic combination BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS that the stomach flu is the best way to inadvertently drop a few pounds. #amirite?

On that note, does anyone want to be our pledge?

Hey, What’s the Big Idea?!

19 Jun

Our SOEC summer of celebrity continues this week with some more minor celebrity spottings. In the same day, Elaheh saw Kelly Killoren Bensimon of RHNYC running through the streets of lower Manhattan in neon spandex and Tate Donovan, aka Jimmy Cooper, walking down 8th avenue.

Alyssa also saw the dad of the co-writer/producer of Lola Versus at Grand Central. After eavesdropping on his conversation about the movie she told him that she liked his son’s film, to which he replied, “I’m glad you liked it! I didn’t understand it, too many female jokes but I’m proud of him.” Lola Versus is officially the movie equivalent of that friend that you can’t get rid of, why does it keep coming back into our lives?

After watching every clip of Newsies on Youtube, we’ve come to the informed decision that newsboy hats are going to be the No.1 trend for fall 2012. Srsly. We can guarantee that everyone will be wearing them come Thanksgiving. If you don’t believe us, look at all these fahshan forward stars who picked up on our structured bathing suit trend forecast. Mmk.

Observation: The 7th Heaven opening credits in Season 11 are at least 5 minutes longer than those of season 1. We blame this on the excessively large cast, which we trace back to 3 reasons: the number of homeless kids turned honor students living in the Camden household, the random girlfriends played by sisters of pop stars (Haylee Duff, Ashlee Simpson), and the general presence of Sam and David.

Re: R&B/Soul
We’re not really sure what classifies a song as R&B, but we associate it with cheating boyfriends like Usher, MTV circa 2003, and girls wearing netted belly shirts. R&B hasn’t been the same since Ja Rule left the scene, which we originally thought was because he settled down in Upper Saddle River, New Jersey to raise his kids and set them up with Rev Run’s children, but a recent Google search indicates that he’s actually been in prison, which he described as “amazing.”

On that note, here are our top 5 fav R&B/Soul beats:

1. Confessions Pt. 2 by Usher
2. World’s Greatest by R. Kelly
3. Knock You Down by Keri Hilson, Kanye West and Ne-Yo
4. Sorry for 2004 by Ruben Studdard
5. My Boo

Who else agrees that listening to your favorite song when it comes on the radio is more enjoyable than listening to it when it comes on shuffle? Hell yeah, I’m gonna crank the volume in my CRV (which by the way, has 2 speeds: fast and faster) when I hear Ashanti and Ja Rule’s Always on Time but no thanks, I’d rather listen to the Rent soundtrack when I clean my room.

God is Love, Rev Run.

That Girl Was a One Time Teenage Drama Queen

6 Jun

We went to the New York premiere of Lola Versus on Tuesday night. We didn’t realize we were going to a movie premiere until we arrived at the theater and saw leggy models and their agents lingering on the sidewalk, surrounded by a line of paparazzi. They clearly weren’t photographing us, but we did manage to photo bomb a few pictures.

While waiting to file into the theater, we mingled with no one as we blatantly gawked at minor celebrities like Zachary Quinto and the guy who plays Ellis from SMASH. We like to think we made eye contact with some of them, but does it count as eye contact if you stare at someone until they are forced to look at you, or does it have to be made organically? If it’s the former, then yes, we definitely made eye contact with some celebs. Hi.

Squint and you can see the stars!!!!

We scored free Diet Coke and non-preservative popcorn on the way to our seats and munched as we people watched from the back corner of the theater. We wonder: was the guy wearing an I <3 NY sweatshirt trying to be ironic or was he a tourist?

Lola Versus is an indie romcom centered on the life of Lola, a twenty something Ph.D candidate played by Greta Gerwig. The plot starts when Lola’s fiancée breaks up with her, and from that point on Lola’s life sucks. Like, truly sucks. And it doesn’t improve either. By the end of the film, nothing has changed for Lola except her outlook on life–she decides that she is going to find herself. Good luck!

Put simply, Lola Versus is funny. The screenwriter’s wife, Zoe Lister Jones, does a hysterical job playing the token best friend. It’s an amusing way to spend an hour and a half, but the movie wasn’t memorable. Definitely won’t be incorporating quotes from Lola into daily conversation like we do with the Parent Trap.

Comes out this Friday!

Random Musings

The co-director of Lola Versus, Daryl Wein, is a graduate of Staples High School, class of 2002. What up Westport! Last week we endorsed Essie nail polish, but we recently realized that getting our nails done is a luxury that neither of us can afford, so this week we’re all about keeping our nails natural. It’s the perfect summer color and the whiter your nail beds are, the tanner your hands look. Amy Sherman-Palladino, the creator of Gilmore Girls, has started a new ABC Family show called Bunheads, which chronicles a Las Vegas dancer who moves to a sleepy coastal town to work in her mother-in-law’s dance studio. It can’t be worse than Kyle XY (who was weirdly handsome despite his lack of belly button). Also, in honor of Miley Cyrus’ engagement to Liam Hemsworth, we recommend The Last Song. Sweet niblets, she should be marrying Nick Jonas.

Gal, what’s up? Where you been? What do you know?!

29 May

We fantasized about relaunching our blog this summer with a chic, sophisticated, and young site design that would make the blogging community take us seriously rather than scoff at us for our generic theme and low quality pictures. For two days straight, we did nothing but experiment with different fonts and colors (and went to the beach and to Marshalls/Home Goods). We lost sleep, partially due to the blog format, partially due to the insane humidity at the Jersey Shore. But here we are back where we started. Sorry blogging community, but our formatting is generic and mainstream. If anyone has an idea for a logo, get at us.

This past week we went to Zum Schneider on the Lower East Side. We judged the beer garden by 3 main criteria: the attractiveness of the crowd, the quality of the food, and the celebrities spotted. The clientele was collectively a 10. Our German waiter was gorgeous, the couple whose beer Alyssa knocked over was gorgeous, but most gorgeous of all was the Billabong male model standing at the bar. Oh my god, I think he looked in our general direction.

We think it’s safe to say that German food isn’t on any diet plan. Alyssa got a pork shank with a potato dumpling on the side and Elaheh got schnitzel. We also got pretzels that were imported from Bavaria, but hey, they weren’t great. I can get a better one at a pool snack bar.

Sitting at the table behind us was Cyndi Lauper, her actor husband, and a small entourage of people wearing sunglasses indoors. Given that Cyndi is an eighties star who still dyes her hair platinum blonde, we think she might have some financial problems. She was carrying a non-discreet black nylon purse, and the bills in her wallet were crumpled up. Omg, is she dabbling in pole dancing to pay the bills? She was also wearing all black—is it because she is French and sophisticated, or because she can’t afford to wear elegant clothes? Bottom line is that we find her to be an unfriendly celebrity because we tweeted at her during dinner asking how she liked her pretzel and she never responded.

girls just wanna have fun!!

Random Musings
If you find yourself bored at your CRE, take the language of love quiz and find out how you best express and interpret love. Why not? You have nothing to lose! Fahshion magazines are pointing to tribal prints and structured bathing suits as trends for summer 2k12. Also, Essie’s bikini so teeny nail polish makes for a great pastel mani. Summer blockbusters are one of Elaheh’s passions in life, but so far no trailers have stood out. Neither of us have seen What to Expect When You’re Expecting but we think it could have the characteristics of a classic ensemble cast movie: funny, but not funny enough to laugh, too many famous actors in one scene, and a minimum of 10 story lines. Alyssa’s fav ensemble cast film is New Year’s Eve (Bon Jovi <3), but not Valentine’s Day because that is the worst movie ever made. Finally, our Ginger of the Week award goes to Amy Poehler’s son, who Elaheh spotted on the C train with his mom, Amy Poehler. They got on at 81st street, he ate goldfish from a zip lock bag, and they got off at West 4th. Speaking of comedy stars, Alyssa spotted Maya Rudolph waiting at a stoplight near Grand Central. And so it begins, the summer of celebrity!!

Our Opinion, Not Like You Care

14 Feb

Happy Valentine’s Day, beetches!

If you’re reading this post because you are looking for last minute Valentine’s Day ideas for your lovah, then you should leave. Talk to our slit wrists, we’re not interested.

We’re really just posting because we have nothing better do and instead of Facebook chatting with each other about our Halloween costumes for next year (look out for an homage to Whitney Houston circa 1987) we decided to grace our readers with the  Ultimate. List. Of. Daily. Picks. aka our favorite things, cue Julie Andrews.

Romantic Comedies

  • Notting Hill: “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”
  • Legally Blonde: As a general rule, we always watch this movie when it is on TBS, which is usually Saturday nights at 2 am.
  • You’ve Got Mail: That awkward moment when you can repeat every line from a movie where Meg Ryan is outfitted in chinos that are so baggy they could pass as harem pants.
  • The Parent Trap: Is this a romantic comedy? YES. The plot line includes a steamy yet tumultuous relationship between Dennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson as well as Chessie and Martin. “Who would have thought. My nanny, your butler.”

AHHHH YOUNG LOVE. So innocent, they don't know what they're in for.

Books

  • The Great Gatsby: “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” So. Deep. Is anyone else thinking of the green light right now?
  • Endorsing Mindy Kaling’s book again. What do we have to do to get her to notice us on Twitter? Might have to adopt the Bieber Fever strategy, aka Tweet at her 1000 times.

Songs

  • Without You, David Guetta
  • You Were Meant For Me, Jewel
  • The Winner Takes It All, Meryl Streep version

Actor

  • Stanley Tucci: Srsly overlooked actor, he’s so effing versatile. Roles include the token flamboyant fashion editor in the Devil Wears Prada, pedophile/murderer in the Lovely Bones, Julia Child’s husband in Julie & Julia–someone get the Tusch an Oscar.
  • Dennis Quaid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9tMITvVSKk

Silver Fox

  • Anderson Cooper: he also wins for being our favorite closeted news anchor

All Time Greatest TV Shows:

  • Does Valentine’s Day make anyone else nostalgic for Friends? You could always count on one of the Friends to have worse relationship problems than you on Feb 14…
  • Arthur: “And now a word from us kids” –speech impediments: been there, done that, seen the movie.

Ugh, even Arthur found love in a hopeless place.

Awkward Valentine’s Day Moments:

  • When your Valentine gets lost in the mail.
  • When you start dating someone approximately a week before Valentine’s Day. (NB: We don’t know this to be true, but can imagine it gets kinda weird…)

Sent from my iPhone

Ruining the American songbook, one mash-up at a time

1 Feb

While sitting in our hotel in Venice, contemplating whether or not we should pay the 5 euro fee for internet, we stumbled upon Garage Band. Ohmigosh. After spending three too many hours trying to make Adele mixes, we decided to embark upon a mash-up contest. We vowed that by the end of January, we would post our own mash-ups on SOEC and let the readers vote on which one they liked best.

The rules?

-No Adele or David Guetta

-No one is allowed to listen to the mash-up before it is posted. (Elaheh DID NOT follow this. “Whatever, had to share my new hobby with my mom. Not sorry.”)

Disclaimers: At the end of the day, we’re amateur DJs with passions for showtunes, Glee, and Top 40.

MASH-UP 1:

MASH-UP 2:

DAILY PICKS! Weekly picks? Monthly picks? Sorry we’re academics and have to spend so much time studying/so little time blogging.

-Song: Everything on Ingrid Michaelson’s new CD. Nothing beats The Chain (Live from Webster Hall), but the girl sure can sing. Also we admire her for never wearing contacts. Ever.

-Celebrity Crush: Jack Dorsey, creator of Twitter. If you’re willing to overlook his offensive nose ring, he’s a babe. Update: Investment bankers are out, start-up founders are IN! (excluding Mark Zuckerberg. We’re team Eduardo, but only if he has any resemblance to his portrayer Andrew Garfield)

Also, Selena Gomez and the Scene has an inspiring song we’ve been listening to on repeat:

RIP Heidi and Seal. Another day, another celebrity divorce. Do you believe in life after love?

Nobody ever plays Canadians in movies

17 Jan

It has nothing to do with the rest of the post, but think about it, no one ever plays a Canadian, not even Ryan Gosling. Whhhhaaaaaat?

Where ya been, beetch?

Since you asked, we’ve lit-rally jetted through Europe since our last post. It sounds pretentious, but as you read this one of us is most likely sitting on her couch watching re-runs of Keeping Up with the Kardashians* and screening phone calls from the outside world.

*Technically Kim and Kourtney take New York at this time of the TV season

SOEC took advantage of the falling euro (1.27!!) to visit Northern Italy. We started in Milan, braved the pickpocketers at Milan Central Station, and took the train to Venice.

Random Musings on Milan:
-Milan is a concrete jungle of Fascist architecture. E.y.e.s.o.r.e.
-No tourist maps. Anywhere. This could have something to do with the fact that it isn’t much of a tourist city because…
…There’s literally nothing to do in Milan but shop. We wandered around checking out the window displays for hours. Our personal favorite was a nativity scene made out of chocolate….HUH?
-Milan is allegedly the old stomping ground of Leonardo da Vinci. We didn’t see the ghost of the Renaissance Man or the Last Supper. We’ll just watch that episode of Gilmore Girls where the residents of Stars Hollow recreate the Last Supper, featuring Kirk as a dashing Jesus.

Random Musings on Venice:
-George Clooney’s face in the middle of San Marco Square sealed our affection for the city. GC for Omega is really becoming the new European landmark, and we’re not sorry about it, but we seriously question his sexuality.
-Rumor has it that Alyssa got gout from all the dark chocolate gelato she ate. No really, her symptoms match the ones on WebMD (too graphic?). Not bitter about coming down with a semi-serious case of gout, am bitter that eating gelato in the winter and walking outside usually results in frozen digits.
-Up and coming C.R.E.: gondoliering. Upward mobility, relaxed work atmosphere, probably benefits and 401k. Not to mention, the gondoliers run the social scene in Venice.

This just in: Venice is flooding.

We’ve traveled far and wide, but it’s true, the best part of traveling is coming home—which is why we visited some of our favorite dining spots this past week. ShakeShack for burgers and fries, TopThis for self-serve fro-yo (carrot cake flavored fro-yo is DELICIOUS!), Godiva for our monthly free truffles.

Daily Picks
-Song: Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen. “Here’s my number, so call me maybe.” So sure of herself.
-Book: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? By Mindy Kaling. So good, so relatable, especially for those of us who: use our debit card to buy things less than 3 dollars, had unrequited crushes on boys older than us in high school, offensively binge through the cabinets of people we babysit for.                                                                                                                                                                                      -Profession: Optometrist. But like, the independent local kind of optometrist who has a cool optics store and baskets of Jolly Ranchers, not the mainstream Lenscrafters type. Ugh, so commercial.

-TV Show: No TV, we’re busy doing Cardioke with Billy Blanks Jr.

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